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Tuesday, May 18, 2004


May 17 2004 --- My Day


*yawnzz* juz got home ... went boat quay to unwind abit ... did a bit of ot ... or rather had a talk with my asst manager ... hmmm ... contempleting resigning or rather it is more or less official le ba ... maybe my views and the company's no longer converge as when i first joined ba ... hmmm ... my asst manager was telling me to get a job before i go ... she had interesting plans for me shld i stay but i guess i can only agre with my manager who chose to leave coz he foresee the problems ... yup ... for me it is exactly the same ... i can foresee the kind of problems i am goin to face too ... maybe i m juz too cowardly to face the challenge ba ? hahahaha ... some reading this post shld think that "nah .. u can de lor .. juz u wan or not nia" ... true ba ... the job isnt that tough de ba and of coz can be handled but to fight for a management that u hav a sense of belonging to is juz like earning income to feed a stranger's family ba ... u dun hav the urge to excel n do extra ... management wasnt clear of the goals or rather they didnt intend to be clear also ... this sorta contradict with their 'promise' that we r very open ... haizz ... when i found out certain arrangement i suddenly find that the management seems so hypocritical ... i guess maybe i m sensitive ba hahahaha ... but since i rejected the 'offer' to take charge my only option is to go ba ... maybe i shld already be gone some time back ... quite a big hoo haa the last time i 'broadcast' that i m resigning ... in the end turns out to be nothing ... this time round ... hmmm ... serious liao ... guess by morning i can expect to be 'counselled' by the senior manager n CEO asking y y y ... dun really know wat to say but letter prepared le ... juz duno if they will asked me to serve the 1 mth notice required or simply say u can go immediately hahahaha ... hmmm ... weighing pros n cons leh ... i was thinking of tendering after i finish reservist then hahaha then can have the make up pay claim but i guess currently the time frame doesnt really allow me to decide ... but i leave it to my favourite MEANT TO BE ba =D ... asking me to go immediately means i can prepare myself for my coming exams also ... ya lah ... see how things turn out ba =) ... i guess the thots of leaving has always been there but juz need something to spark it off nia ... and i got it so well ... ok lah ... not going to elaborate it anyway ... juz feel like typing since no one to talk to now kekekeke ... exploring my options now i dun really know wat i can do too ... but i know i will survive =) ... i pray for the best of the rest of my fellow teams ... i hope the management really did hav plans for them ... though most r already more or less rid of burdens with children all grown up but who doesnt wish to retire ne ? pple work for a purpose ... and that was ... i guess ... the major concern of my AM who told me a touching speech ... she told me "i think i m a bad leader ... i didnt manage to fight for the benefit of u all but i m glad they told me that those employees r not going to be jobless" ... she was thinking of us when she knows that eventually she will be booted out as the company progresses but she chose to stay till they tell her to leave ... true ba ... after being there for so long and being with it thru ups n downs and heavily involved in the new project ... i guess anybody will wish to stay n see the intial results before going .... ya lah ... understandable ... but for me ... i guess it's a nono for me ... no way i m goin to wait till i m useless n redundant ... nor am i going to accept the fact that i m goin to be the sole survivor ... hmmm ... i hate the feeling of me being the 'lucky' one while others r tearing ... i can afford to lose so *shrugz* ... there's always a place on earth for someone de lah ... my 'sis' tell me that she hopes i didnt do it on impulse ... i didnt ... juz that it was sparked off finally ... and i really did wiegh everything out before deciding de ... no worry ... i m fine =) ... today will be an impt day so i m waiting wat lies ahead for me ... take it as it comes =) ... haven broken the news to my family yet ... but i guess i shall see how things goes first ... no point worrying another side lah ... seriously ... mian qiang mei xing fu =) ... let go when it is time to do so ... hanging in there may prolong but it doesnt cure ... learn learn learn ... lotsa more things in life to learn .... wan an =)


KeL speaks @1:03 AM                                    _`天注定`_