a
Monday, June 05, 2006


Jun 5 2006 --- A Special Tribute


hmmm ... i dun really know how i shld start this entry ... somehow i feel heavy ... okie ... apart from the fact i have always been obese so heavy is always a part of me ... so let's make it as today i feel extremely heavy ...

maybe i shld blog it this way ... 2 'short' stories ...

1) A typical story of a person's observation ... X was taking the MRT on morning on his way to school ... as usual the train started to get crowded and X began observing pple ard him ... a couple caught his eyes ... like those lovey dovey couple ... the guy was whispering sweet nothings to the ger and the ger was leaning against the guy's shoulder ... hands in hands they sat side by side and slowly dozing amidst the long journey along the MRT line ... as the ger sleeps the guy was looking fondly and protectively at her lest any possible distraction could disturb her ... the ger seemingly smile sweetly n blissfully as if knowing that she was very safe from any harm with the guy ard ... guy never seems to get tired of looking at the ger ... guy gently stroking the head of the ger along the journey ... that's how blissful they can be ... as X approaches his station and alighted he cant help but envy the couple for being able to be so sweet ... yes ... up till here i guess it isnt that tough to catch such a sight on MRT lah ... every relationship has its honeymoon period mah ... most guys are very sweet in the beginning isnt it ?? well ... the point is ... the guy n ger are in their seventies ... yes ... 3/4 of a century ... familiar story ?? ya lah ... some email circulated before i think ... moving on ...

2) next story ... something happened between J and R and they broke up ... they finally got back together and after more than half a year of happy times ... the ger J was found to have cancer ... R was by her side encouraging her to be strong and things will b alright ... after 10 months of tough fighting and optimistic living, R lost J to death ... lotsa pple was there to honour the brave ger for living her short and yet fulfilling life to the fullest ... the admirable part of this issue besides the positive attitude J has was the devotion of R ... R never left J till the very last moment ... again ... this is common or maybe juz not rare even if it between young couples or old couples ... the reason y this particular encounter touched me was coz of R ... R is juz like J ... R is a ger too ... yes ... indeed lately i had seen n heard alot of gay blogs kinda things ... it's lame crap shit ... seriously ... i m not against homosexuality but well ... hetro or homo alike ... so long as it deserves respect, it will gain respect ... for a les couple whom stuck thru it right to the end i think it is very admirable ...

okie ... had i crap enuff ? it's been a long day at work and i did practically close to nothing ... yes ... close to nothing coz nothing much was achieved ... hmmm ... wonder y i suddenly bring up 2 old stories that u all may jolly well read it off some fwd emails long ago ?? simply coz the combination of the 2 storeys became a true life story ... the whole day i was at my PC looking at a blog ... hmmm ... read thru the contents and well ... suddenly it linked up to me ... coz i had the habit of browsing those tabloid papers and i vaguely recalled the headline but couldnt confirm if the blog n the headline was linked ...

i read thru the posts right from day 1 of the cancer fighting process all the way to the end ... amidst them were of coz some daily events that comprises of the couple n J's family ... hmmm ... from it i think J's family knows and acknowledge their relationship ... how many parents wun freak out knowing their child is gay or les ?? hmmm ... indeed it may not be in culture of our society to accept this but nevertheless ... irregardless of wat platform the parents started out upon ... be it the 'heck care' coz they wanted J to b happy or they truly accept ... they had shown the endless flow of love that parents could possiblily shower upon their child ...

somehow it juz reinforce the fact that most pple had not learnt to be contented ... including me ... how often i had lament that how come this thing not like that ... how come that one didnt turn out better ... indeed ... comparing her encounter to wat i went thru a few yrs back ... i think the level is about the same ... juz that maybe on a different platform ... deeply felt the intention in her blog and her will to fight and live ... felt the helplessness we had over our life ... unknowingly search my own conscience to ponder upon things and pple and relationships that i had neglected ... make me flash back scenes of some years back when things wasnt going well ... make me suddenly acknowledge the fact that life is juz so fragile ... it clearly show how adversity can bind a family close together ...

i actually felt kind of yi han ... how i wished that i had chanced upon the blog sooner ... juz a week or so earlier and yes ... i think i would have went down to pay my last respects to J ... for being so strong ... for being so positive ... maybe that's the trait a teacher will have ... oh ya ... i didnt mention that she is a teacher i guess ... hmmm ... see ... that's the ironical part ... some may already be thinking wth is with a teacher who is a les ??? wat kinda influence will it bring to students ??? okok ... shut the fuck up ... les dun mean cannot be a good teacher ... for all u know ... some top politicians may juz b gays too ... juz a matter of it being made known or not ... didnt someone got charged for sodemy in our neighbour country ?? anyway i know teacher who is les also ... nothing alarming ... despite there having so many tragedies happening everyday ... somehow i juz feel for J n R ... maybe i juz hated the way how normal couples treat each other badly and not treasuring their time together ... how they rather spend time doing bo liao things like suspecting each other ... quarrel ... fighting over trival shit ... while those who yearns to be together have to get over barriers after bariers ... from society ... from family ... from frens ... and eventually from the law ...

somehow life is juz so unpredictable ... juz when everything seems smooth sailing ... fate will hav a stone dropped down and cause endless ripples to life ... i seriously duno y their encounter tingled me that much but irregardless of wat ... i think the time spent today was a very valuable lesson learnt for me ...

J passed away peacefully on 27 May 2006 after her 10 months fight with cancer. May you rest in peace. God bless.


KeL speaks @7:52 PM                                    _`天注定`_