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Saturday, April 16, 2005


Apr 16 2005 --- pHeW ...


hmmm ... i m feeling better from the dengue episode ... hmmm ... ya .. from the fact that i m in front of the pc again ... amidst protest from mummy ... ya lah ... the past one week was quite hell ... actually compared to other dengue i heard about ... ya lah ... i think i was better off ... wasnt hospitalised ... wasnt in pain ... wasnt any complications ... thank God ... only the fever that keep staying up and a heavy head ... it is indeed a strange feeling when u sleep with eyes closed but u arent sleeping at all ... u sleep very lightly and wake at the stir of anything ... ended up the whole day i was in bed for the past week ... hmmm ... actually the past week had been a dreamy week which there was so deva ju in it ... yes ... encountered death in my dream ... i had a similar dream before ... the difference this time was that it was much much real ... involved me in an accident kinda thingy ... i had dreamt that once before ... this time round ... everything was vivid ... of coz not car plate number lah ... but the events lah ... sequences ... the road ... surroundings etc ... basically i was trying to jaywalk across a familiar road when i saw a merc approaching and knowing i wun make past it so took a small step backwards only to see a bike approaching ... seemingly both vehicles could hav brush past me but somehow i was ramped in by the biker and the next scene was me walking off as if nothing had happened to me ... but deep down i know i was feeling bloated from internal bleeding ... and finally collasped face down at a vague place which i dun recall if i did recall correctly ... i woke up ... in the exact same position ... i dun usually sleep face down but i awake in that posture ... and i was bloated ... coz i was told to drink a lot of water ... and sweating away ... at the first instinct when i wake up i was still trying to convince myself that i didnt get hit ... one of the rare time when i woke up in relief to find myself alive ... juz alive ... juz that moment of time made me realise that i wasnt at all ready to go ... there are so many things that i hadnt done ... pple who i hadnt spend enuff time with ... dear ones whom i hadnt look at enuff of ... if i really had gone there and then ... i would hav been full of regrets ...

looking back ... it seems like there isnt much to say of my achievements ... ya ... seriously ... i hadnt given anyone anything after almost 25 years of life ... hmm ... as life is slowly creeping back in me ... ya ... there are things i wish to start and stop doing ... ya ... wasted too much time le ... time to catch up ... yup ... things that i want to do i hav to do ... ya ... not things that i shld be doing ... but things that i want to do ... yup ... if u r close enuff to me ... u will sense my change =)


KeL speaks @11:30 PM                                    _`天注定`_