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Tuesday, March 07, 2006


Mar 7 2006 --- Mental VS Actual


many a times pple do encounter situations that they foresee themselves being in ... as in how they would hav fare if they are given such opportunities ... like how i will lead the team if i m the leader ... how good a player i would be if i played that game ... how good i will be to that girl if i m her beau etc etc ... really makes one wonder if the doing of such tasks mentally will differ greatly from the actual doing or not ...

maybe i thot i would have been a great leader but come the time to lead ... simply CMI ... simply KNS ... maybe i thot that the goalie wun hav managed to saved the shot had i been the one taking the PK for the team but when i really took it ... i shot it wide ... or maybe i thot i would hav been the perfect bf for her but ended up i was the bf who hurt her the most ...

i guess that the difference between having a mental walk through of an event/issue versus the actual event/issue happening is the external n nature factors ... while there r things that one can learn from others or learn thru their mistakes ... some things had to b gone thru personally before any benefits could b derived ... some things require the person to actually get a feel of the feelings to better learn or grasp anything from it ...

sometimes there is the deva ju feeling strucking juz as u r about to perform a certain action ... somehow everything juz seems so familiar ... it's like subconsciously the event had been thot of by u some time ago ...

i got the feeling lately and everything seems to be an amazing sight ... from the corner of the eye i seems to see another myself looking at myself doing wat i m doing ... it seems to b dictating the actions ... kinda freaky esp when it suddenly juz throw u into a daze ... so far so good (as in everything is happening as predicted) or maybe not that good ... if everything comes true then maybe i wun know how to react ...

some things juz got to be done ... in life we r constantly gaining n losing all the time ... juz a matter or whether the gain can cover the loss or not nia ... i was asking myself if i can bear to face myself in the mirror of conscience ... i gave myself a small smile =)

browsed a book called "Doctor, I have cancer. Can you help me?" hmmm ... quite nice ... at least cancer still got doctor to cure lah ... at least cancer still know the cause and get to the root of problems ... while other emotional illness in life may not be so simple ... no medicine cure .. no operations ... juz leave it to die ... and live another life ... maybe that's also y older generation likes to say ... "dun too kpo" ... the more things u interfere the more strings u hold ... come the time to let go of string A but keena entangled to death by string B ... die also duno y u die ...

ya lah ... jus like when Adrian n James are damn good frens and Kelly was James' gf and Adrian's childhood fren ... the day when Kelly knows that Adrian wasnt on talking terms with James ... Kelly capitalised on it to put across her intention to break off with James to be back with her ex ... James did nothing wrong in their relationship but on knowing that Adrian n James are now not on good terms ... Kelly initiated a breakup saying "I breaking up with u ... I hav suspected all these while that u arent those faithful type ... my childhood fren Adrian confirmed that" ...

well done Kelly ... isnt it ? Kelly wanted a break up on her own decision ... ended up using wat Adrian said as the reason ... knowing fully that James isnt going to believe Adrian even if Adrian said that he didnt say anything ... using an totally unrelated current situation between Adrian n James to facilitate an her original intention to break up ... bide the time for an unrelated issue to become the appropiate reason for doing something ... ya lah ... Adrian held too many strings .... ended up he didnt know which string killed him ... sucks big time ...


KeL speaks @6:33 PM                                    _`天注定`_