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Sunday, October 21, 2012


Oct 21 2012 --- Meant to be ...


I started off the blog with meant to be due to some reasons back in 2004 ... for a ger who changed my life back then ... despite only 1 vday together ... she has always left that deep print in me ... we stayed frens despite not being the eventual one for each other ... she made me think long n hard about life and well ... timing is all that critical when things happen ... her sentence ... "you are always a step late" *stab*

Through the years I had always engaged in my grey areas ... basking in them and just enjoying the present and not thinking of future ... to me ... grey area denotes non commitment ... good for me coz commitment is something which all along i had not been able to fulfill ... along the way i had seen 2 of them getting married blissfully and well ... i didnt really take it v hard in the sense that i had always know that i was not the one for them and i had those nice memories which i can always hold on dearly to ... call it a cycle or wat ... it seems to me that every job of mine will have such a incident ... and every ending will have a stab made to my heart ... from the north area job ... FL came into my life which i didnt take any action from the time she was single till attached and now married ... a sentence in response to a question asked by XXX ... her answer was "maybe I would have been with hau" *stab stab*

the east area job ... the stalifying one ... we were merely close but it was never in that direction and so ... i enjoyed her company alot and time together ... i never made known my feelings although pple ard seems to take it as such ... anyway sometimes i do think wat would have happened if we had been together but well ... being blissfully married now means that it was something good for her afterall ... and no ... her wedding was one which i didnt manage to attend due to some stroke of fate ... maybe its really meant to be ...

at current job ... TTO came into my life ... someone whom i thought was simple and lovely ... her thoughts were always considerate and always thinking for others ... her sweet little acts at times would melt me ... being cohort mates and from the same division ... we were rather close during induction and were like the only frens at the starting ... as time passed ... her few closer cohort mates started to link up together ... and through a little incident ... some sharp eyes actually realised that i had saved her name in my contacts as a rather unique name compared to my normal naming convention ... that overlook of mine sparked off further speculations ... i never thought much of it until D appeared ... somehow D and her were being matchmake together and well ... knowing that actually sent a funny tinge down me ... it set me wondering ... if D and her actually got together ... how would i feel ... i actually duno ... i had always thought that she would be a suitable person for me due to her character and love for frens ... someone whom will be able to click with my frens and all ... able to tahan my character and having close female frens ard me ... likewise ... she would have her own close male frens whom i will trust her to hand ard with ... all seems ideal ... except that i have my own constraints which i cant commit to make any further progress with her ... i had been trying to work things out but well ... i guess its meant to be should the case be that she got together with someone else before i could progress further ... fate ba ... some things are really meant to be ... sometimes it juz set me thinking that maybe this may well be a blessing in disguise ... at times it seems to myself that it is obscenely obvious that i like her but well ... i guess it wouldnt make sense to make a ger wait ...

maybe ... just maybe ... sometimes some things happened to make my options lesser and in a way made things much clearer ... instead of being greedy and spoilt for choice ... life made a decision for us =)


KeL speaks @2:37 AM                                    _`天注定`_